HEATHER EWING: The CRE RUNdown

Ep. 74 Stillness is the New Strength: A Smarter Path to Executive Performance

• Heather Ewing, CCIM • Season 1 • Episode 74

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We explore how high performers can reset from constant fight or flight to a calmer, stronger baseline using breath, community, sleep, and purpose. Pete Miller shares practical tools, from neuromuscular resets to eye-movement drills, and makes a case for basics over biohacks.

• defining holistic human performance across body, mind, social, spiritual
• neuromuscular reset to restore breathing and movement
• recognizing sympathetic overdrive and shallow chest breathing
• stillness as a skill to notice stress and patterns
• alcohol and coping versus intention and design
• community as a health input and Blue Zones insight
• food basics: whole foods, fewer ultra-processed options
• sleep priorities, 2–3 a.m. wakeups, cortisol timing
• downregulation tools: belly breathing and eye movements
• vulnerability, authenticity, and being known
• generational themes: remote work, mentorship, purpose
• reject age as an excuse, choose the hard that builds capacity
• how to work with Pete locally and remotely

Drop me a line, send me a text. Email is Pete@PeteMillerGroup.com. Happy to connect and maybe I can help with a little bit of a quick roadmap for you.


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Heather Ewing:

Welcome to Heather Ewing, the CRE rundown. I am, of course, your host, Heather Ewing. Today I have a repeat guest, and you are gonna thank me because it's perfectly timed. Pete Miller was on episode 9. We are now at episode 74. So this is the man you need to connect with. He is none other than a strength coach, primarily for high performance executives. Sounds familiar, right? It's a competitive arena, commercial real estate, and let's face it, entrepreneurs are in a competitive arena like everyone else. So Pete has been working his magic since 1990. So that's 35 years of core content. And today we are going to get a glimpse of that through our conversation. So Pete, welcome.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, thank you, Heather. Good to see you again.

Heather Ewing:

Definitely, you as well. So I saw a snippet of a video and I was like, we need to reconnect because what you were talking about is really crucial, especially the timing of now. And I think as we talk and we peel the layers back, people are gonna realize that they're in this state and maybe they don't even realize it. So to kick that off, tell us a little bit more about what you've been up to.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, so you know, I I would like to say for the last 35 plus years, I've been doing the same thing. Um, but that's like saying Heather Union, Heather Ewing has been brokering and marketing and sharing real estate and development ideas the same way for your whole career, right? We evolve, we get we stay curious, the market changes. So there's some core concepts of strength and conditioning and um human performance. But when I say human performance, if I when I use that phrase, I want everybody to focus on a holistic approach to human performance, not just biology, because we are biopsychosocial spiritual beings. And if all we do is focus on biology, you know, what we eat, yes, that's important, how we move, yes, that's important, what we put on our bodies, all that's important. But how are your relationships? How are you doing in the community? Do you have a sense of something greater than yourself? Whatever that greater thing may be, you know, newsflash, there is something greater than just us. Um, so search for that and then connect. So some of the new things that we've been doing about 10 years ago, I was introduced to some um, I'll call it body work, but it's it's it's I call it a neuromuscular reset. And it's some work that we do with all of our clients that come into our place here in Milwaukee, and it's an opportunity to reset people's breathing and movement patterns, so which is foundational to everything. It it is, and we will, they're the two main priorities of being human, right? You have to, obviously, and you have to move now. If movement gets disrupted, breathing patterns get disrupted. I think we're in an era where people don't even realize that their breathing pattern is suboptimal. They're in more of a fight, flight, freeze, sympathetic breathing pattern mentality, because it's just the age we're in it and it's our normal. But I would say the majority of people that I see initially uh with doing like the neuromuscular reset, which is how we onboard people, um they're stuck in some version of fight, flight, or freeze, and it's their normal.

Heather Ewing:

Right. So jumping in here, especially in commercial real estate, right? Investing, it's always the grind is is glorified. Um, the long hours, creating wealth, not only for yourself, but then for family. So that's the big push. And that's where, as a marathoner, I think of performance in all things, of pulling it in. And that's what I love about your work is that you're really going back to the basics and people don't identify that. Like, for example, we we do hear about flight freight, uh, flight, fight freeze. How does someone identify if they're actually in it, right? If that's their normal drum beat, how do they identify of like, oh wow, that's actually me?

SPEAKER_01:

It it requires a stillness periodically, you know. What one uh a very poignant piece of wisdom that struck me about eight or nine years ago was this invitation um by something greater than me, which and and if you've grown up in Western culture with Christianity, but it it's there's a facet of this in a lot of different um religious or spiritual expressions. But the concept is really simple: it's be still and know that I am God. Now it it's you I didn't take that as a you know, get in your place, sit down, be still, I'm God, you're not. It's more of an invitation, and however you want to step into that invitation, I don't think we can know the divine, which equates to love, peacefulness, power, connection. You can't know the divine without stillness. So the practice of being still instead of being constantly on the hamster wheel is critical. You have to take time, reflect, check in with your body, check in with your mind, check in with your relationships and see where I am at. Or have somebody speak into it.

Heather Ewing:

Go ahead. Right. And if you're open to sharing, what precipitated that? Usually, not always, usually there's something in our life that gets shaken up, right? Whether it's career, physicality, relationship, etc., that kind of ushered you into that questioning.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. Um, yeah, that's I was gonna say that's an interesting question. It's not unique to me though, right? I mean, there's probably a whole bunch of people that are gonna have some version of what I'm about to share. Definitely. What I would suggest is if we give you the 30,000-foot view, got married when I was 21, still married to that beautiful woman that is absolutely my rock. Um, so got married young, started a family two years later, started a business about the same time, grew up in a family of origin that I kind of figured out in an immature fashion early on, like I would say age nine, that if anything was going to get done that I wanted to accomplish, it needed to happen with me. It was about me doing the work. I've got to drive, nobody else cares, nobody else is curious, you know. And and I say all of that that is a very selfish, self-centered way of viewing the world. But in my immaturity and my record, it was a survival protocol that I needed to put in place in order to just engage. So you fast forward marrying children, building a business. I'm the one that's got to work, I gotta do more, I've got to go, it's gotta be fast-paced. Entrepreneurs and leaders of business are extroverts, they are people that go to social events, networking, they're on, they've always positive. And the reality is I just kind of hit a wall in my late 40s and 50s. And I and I'm I'm happy to share, you know, this is this is Wisconsin. So um we truly one of the coping mechanisms Wisconsinites use to downregulate is alcohol. I mean, it's just it's there's a lot of it going on. It's the liquid detection. And I would suggest that I got to a point in my late 40s, early 50s, and found that I'm actually more introverted than extroverted. And people are often don't believe me, but it absolutely is true. And the social aspect of things would get stressful. It would be like it's too much coming at me. Maybe the conversations are kind of inane, there's no vulnerability or um depth, it's just this superficial thing. I don't want to be here, give me another drink. I can stay physically, but give me one more. And now I'm gone, but I'm still present.

Heather Ewing:

And it's so fascinating that you say that because I can relate in my own way of uh growing up, my mom passed when I was young, so I became highly resourceful. I was the one that figured it all out, which led nicely into entrepreneurism, right? You have to be resourceful at all times. But I agree too, if it puts you into overdrive. And for me, with all the tension growing up and things of that nature, and the invitation I extend to you too is what if it's not selfishness, but what if it's a youth? And we're not built to be that resilient at that age. And I think that's what opens us up to something more of life and that invitation of connection, which then people either choose or they decline, and it's always available for when and if they're ready, but that's how we learn, and I think that's what makes life rich, also, because you have that other dimension to you that is a source of fuel, it's a source of insight, it's a it's like the buoy amongst the rocking ocean, that it's always there, right? And so for me, that's how my my car accident was alcohol related. And it was a really hard hit because I always did the right thing, right? And so that just blew me away. And I also realized, you know, I think I was 22 at the time, right? That all right, you need to make some different decisions, like it's not okay, even though everyone's doing it, and everyone can relate for the most part, except for maybe 1%, especially in Wisconsin, that there's other ways, and you're gonna have to create it differently. And you know, and and you know, in Wisconsin too, it's like college, you know, it's everywhere in the weekends. Yeah, and so it's it's a mind shift, it's a life shift in all those different facets, and I think that's what makes us human, and that's what makes us be able to relate to other people and know that I remember this time, and I also know how how I'm living and choosing each day now, and I think that's the gift.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, it it is a gift, and you know, to be clear, what when I took the language I'm using that I put on going, you know, it was a self-centered, inwardly turning position. It's a position that that's how I view it related to me. I I'm not putting that accusation or judgment on anybody else with how they do it, but I I it it was just this, it but there was also worthiness in there. You know, I wasn't I didn't view myself as worthy enough to have or receive help from others.

SPEAKER_02:

Right.

SPEAKER_01:

It I mean, it could be arrogance, like I'm the only one that can get it done, could be, but it was really more I'm gonna get let down, and this is what I deserve. You know, hard work is the win. It's not what you produce, it's just work hard, you know, and and instead of working smart and being efficient. So yeah, there's a lot wrapped up into that. And I'm not anti um, I'm not anti-alcohol or anything else. It's how do you how do you engage with these things in a way that serves you and you manage it and it doesn't manage you? And at that time in my life, I definitely was like, okay, we need to ship gears.

Heather Ewing:

Right, right. No, I I agree, and I think it's the intention behind it, you know, instead of oh, I've had a bad day. Right, you know, of you would like to have one and and so so be it, right? But I think that's true, where just different habits. And for me, I think having something more that was pulling me, and I think a lot of people might identify with where they just feel stuck in their space, whether it's career, relationship, body, this, that, the other thing. And I think they do, you know, we all gravitate towards different things, and it's being able to identify it. And how do I put something maybe that's even a 1% healthier than this particular thing to continually up level our lives? And I think balance is a great thing. And I think as people make the hard choices and align their lives more with genuinely who they are, their life, you know, their skills, what they genuinely want to do and serve at a higher level, that I think the vices, whatever it is, are less heavy. And people put more of their time, energy, and resources into these outward expressions of helping through their craft.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you know, you just reminded me of another kind of a guiding light, guiding pillar for me is that um I we're in an era right now where we are so starved of community. Um you know, our generation, but the younger generation certainly have grown up and going through COVID and all of these different things. Um community is just so critical. Like you think about, you know, I'm assuming most people on this that are gonna listen to this have heard of the blue zones, you know, around the world that where people, you know, the centurions that uh or sentencing centenarians, um, you know, that they have a higher percentage of people that live well into the, you know, into 100. And, you know, is it the diet? Is it the climate? Is it it's all these things they exercise more? But the re when you distill all of the information down, these blue zones have really the number one thing they have in common is they have community, they know their neighbors, there's a sense of a release of of adrenaline, there's uh a management of cortisol, there's a stress that doesn't creep into their system, and it's because they can load share with others, there's other people that are there to help. And you know, in this western world, we were so founded on rugged individualism, right? And this it's the stress that is killing us, and the stress doesn't originate from some external thing, it's it's right here, like we have full management of those stress levels and our health.

Heather Ewing:

Right, and jumping in with that too, of the basics, kind of like we were talking before we jumped on the podcast of people are spending thousands of dollars on the gadgets and the this, the that, the flash. And then, of course, when you think of plastic surgeries and liposuctions and all these different things, right? Where there's so much, but at the same time, kind of like anything, and I preach this throughout commercial real estate, and it goes back to my years of karate, and my instructor, he always taught keep your basics strong. That's what's going to get you out of any predicament and also prevent you from getting into them. The high kicks, the flying splits, all these things are great and flashy, but it comes down to the basics and keeping those strong and repeating them.

SPEAKER_01:

For sure. Yeah, we again back to community. Find that circle that isn't too big that you can engage with and your most intimate relationships. You know, you're gonna argue with these people, you're gonna hug these people, you're gonna cry, you're gonna laugh, you know, but nurture those relationships. Um it's one of the basics. And then diet, there's a million different renditions of keto, paleo, carnivore, vegan, vegetarian, pescatarian. I don't know. I'm missing a whole bunch. I know, I know. Here's the deal eat well, eat whole foods. Yes, it's not super complicated. Prioritize probably vegetables. Um, stay if you're trying to lose weight, limit some of the starchy carbs, you know. But eat food. It's the ultra-processed stuff that is killing us. Yes, because it goes back to we're so busy we can't even think about meal prepping, we can't even think about coming home. I'm stressed out, I've given everything I can give to my job, and you've left nothing for yourself. Love yourself enough to cook, figure it out.

Heather Ewing:

No, and I think you hit on a big point because I'm sure you get asked it all the time. One in your profession, and you've worked really hard to stay extremely healthy. And with my running, too, and people are like, What do you eat? Oh, you must be vegetarian. It's like, no, I eat real food. Right? Like, and you eat when you're hungry versus just plowing it all on. And I think it's one of those, it's almost like we're we're defaulted, right? Taught when we're young, kind of like you were saying just a minute ago, about individualism. It's the person, it's not the community, person, person, person, me, me, me. And that also goes into um the habits of thinking everything has to be hard. And I think a lot of life is hard for people when they're not clear on what they genuinely want and have that burning desire or why, and create systems and consistency and discipline. And that all goes back to the beginning of our conversation of connecting with something more, of taking time for silence. Yeah, whether it's a quiet walk, or it can even be a quiet run or sitting or whatever works for you. I think people need to start getting to know themselves. And you can't take inventory of what your brother, sister, husband, wife, cousin, Can't do you are your own individual, and until you take the time to excavate it, and it's going to be ugly at times. Yeah. You're not going to understand what makes you tick and genuinely what you want.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think one of the foundational gifts that we have from the source of everything is this concept of to know and be known. So the reality of, I mean, I won't spend too much time on this, but if we go back to what it was for the first 50 years of my life, I was capable of asking a lot of questions of other people, very curious, pulling them out, getting to hear their story, engaging with them because I thought that's how we're engaging. But I would rarely leave any space for them to get to know me. So if all I'm doing is getting to know Heather, hey, so tell me what's, you know, how do you feel? What do you think about when you're training for a marathon? And what's it like at six years? Tell me about your family, tell me about the car accident, what was going through your head when you got done, you know, all these things. Like, oh wow, how gracious of Pete to ask these questions of Heather. But if I don't share myself with you, I can't know you fully if you don't get to know me, right? So the superpower to develop of vulnerability and authenticity is massive. And we tend to not because we all want to be, I'm too busy, life is great, I'm living a highlight reel. Check out my Instagram, you know. Look at me. I'm at vacation, life is great. How are you doing, Heather? Good, perfect, busy, crushing it.

Heather Ewing:

Yep, it's so true. Authenticity, it's scary as hell, right? And I think that's why Brene Brown, yeah. I mean, if you look look at her YouTube numbers, they're unreal. And it makes sense because it's like you're all out there, and we all have those varying degrees and moments of really desiring or wanting acceptance. Yeah, and that's where, too, as silly as it sounds, when I'm getting ready, you know, it'll be like, I accept you. And it sounds so corny, but it sometimes you just have to repeat things, right? And it's like you begin to not feel like it's nails on a chalkboard. Then you start to kind of, you know, get comfortable. And it's like, oh, I actually kind of like this, right? So I think as we do accept ourselves, we're gonna be more comfortable in sharing and being vulnerable because what someone thinks or doesn't think is gonna have less of a consequence in that sense. And of course, when it's people that you're really close to, that's that's the master level. But it's it's an important point, as you mentioned.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, paying attention. Uh, everybody knows we should get seven to nine hours of sleep, but how many of us are actually, you know, again, it's one of those foundational things you need to get there. There are a few unicorns out there, very few. You're probably not one of them. You need seven to nine hours. Prioritize sleep.

Heather Ewing:

Um, it's here's here's the hack I would love, right? So I usually sleep pretty well, and that's why I love running because in the off season, it's not the sleep is not as good. That's why I'm always eager to get back on. But what do you recommend when people wake up two, three, four in the morning and the mind is like, yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01:

So, first of all, what I would highly recommend is work with an integrative or functional medical doctor or some doctor that's not just gonna look at the bell curve and say, hey, you're normal. Being a normal, healthy American is unhealthy. Like we need to opt out, right? So I would say that, and the reason I say that is with a with a um a swab of your mouth, they can measure saliva and see what is your cortisol timing. And I don't want to get too far into the weeds, real technical, but the reason you wake up at probably, you know, again, a show of hands. How many people wake up between two and three in the morning and they're up? It's probably because your cortisol timing's off, and there's a that's the root issue that is connected to thyroid function, adrenals, um, stress levels, all these things that so you go there. But if you're waking up at two or three, one of the strategies I would say is I do a combination of things. Um, first of all, you can engage your breath. So do some diaphragmatic breathing or belly breathing, you know, in through your nose for about a four-second count. Visualize that breath going to about an inch below your belly button so you're not breathing up in your chest, which signals fight, flight, freeze. Breathe into your belly, hold for about four seconds, you know, it's called box breathing, then release it for four seconds or whatever. Like it doesn't have to be exact, and then do it again and just down regulate. Um, oddly enough, I don't know the neuroscience behind this, but I saw this and it works. Is with your eyes closed, look up, look down, look right, look left, circle counterclockwise, circle clockwise, and then cross eyes, and just keep doing that. I don't know if it's the equivalent of counting sheep, but I am telling you, it's lights out, you're it just downregulates your body. Sympathetic. Boom.

Heather Ewing:

I like that. I'm gonna have to make sure to include that in its own particular line because in so many podcasts and different things, they talk about it, but then they don't take the next step and say, This is something new that is going to be beneficial, right? They just say, breathe. Well, what good is that when people are like, well, I haven't been breathing for the last 50 years, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Of the reality, the majority of people walking around this planet are breathing shallow in their chest because they're stressed out. They perceive they're about to get attacked by a lion. And it's from physical and emotional trauma or some combination of the two, they got stuck, they're still locked in, and their body is reacting. But so if you go to lay back down, but you're still breathing shallow, sympathetic, you know, taking breaths up in your neck and in your chest, you're still signal to your mind that you're stressed out. You've got to break that cycle and go in through your nose, down to your belly, out through your mouth or whatever.

Heather Ewing:

And it just takes practice, but it's well, I look forward to trying that exercise too. I haven't I've heard similar, but not to that degree. So I'm excited to try that. Yeah, before we run out of time, what I'd love to dig into too is you were talking about age ranges, right?

SPEAKER_01:

Of kind of the the big things that are sticking out for people in kind of physical emotional yeah, share about that, you know, and I'm being very general here, but I would say as I kind of observe the clients we have, and and you know, my kids are all adulting and they're you know 26, uh I'll screw this up, 33. Um so I think I think there's and I don't say ignorance in a negative way. I I say I think there's a high level of not understanding what community is in the 20s and 30s somethings. And I'm being very broad here, but there's they're looking to connect. Working remote for a junior level person is crushing their ability to have organic conversations with more senior executives, right? Coffee, tripping over them, stopping in the office. Like there's just this disconnect. We're not playing together. So I I think community is huge and engaging and finding spaces to do that. They're the most health conscious generations we've seen in a long time. They they tend to prioritize their health much better than I'm an old Gen X or the baby boomers. I think for the Gen X and Baby Boom group, um you know, they work their, generally speaking, worked their tails off through the 80s and 90s, and maybe they're at this point now where they've been grinding away at something. Let's just make up a scenario. They've made a boatload of money, um, but they were, but they they didn't, they weren't real clear on their why, but man, I'm getting remunerated at such a high level. I'm grind, I'm gonna nail this thing, and of course, do it. But now they're getting to a point where what is my purpose? And so finding purpose, and that's hard work. Yes, because we're you know, if we're in an era because of scientific and um health advances with AI and with all the different things that are out there, we're getting very close to a spot where they're talking about you're gonna have longevity escape velocity. Like you get to 2035, 2040, reasonably healthy, still alive, you're gonna roll for another 50, 60 years, minimal, because we're gonna be able to and live well. So if that's the case, and your purpose is golf and happy hour, you're gonna be really bored and unfulfilled. Find a purpose, right?

Heather Ewing:

Right, find a way to give back. And I I think it's fascinating too when you look through literature of people in their 50s, like, ooh, be careful. If you want to run a marathon, it's it's unreal. But I think it's one of those you always hear birds of a feather, and I think people that really do appreciate their health and and do the inputs, no matter how basic, but yet fundamental and crucially important, that's kind of one party. Then it's the other party, right? That are out every single happy hour, and it's not a drink, it's like five drinks a night, right? Or whatever it might be. Of I think so much of our performance people are not considering that they don't have to be running a marathon during the day or doing this incredible strength workout or what have you, that they are in a performance sport due to the hours, due to the workload, the stress, all these different factors. But I think they don't put two and two together, which creates problems.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I think we would all benefit from a bit of well, maybe not a bit, but it's a big paradigm shift. Let's not fall into the trap of attributing a reduction in executive function and a reduction in physical performance to age. We we we we we call it, well, I'm just getting older. I mean, lovingly, that's a cop-out. Our bodies are capable of so much more. No matter where you're showing up today, there's a little something you could do that could move that needle. Because guess what? Like aging is hard in a body that can't support the process, and training is hard as well, so they're hard. You know, I don't and things can happen that but do the hard thing. It's gonna be hard no matter what. So, but train and don't attribute to age what is actually more attributable to attributable to inactivity, right?

Heather Ewing:

I agree completely, and I think people just want to have the end the end result, like it's going to suck at times, right? Like I'm doing strength training now, it's been years and it sucks, right? But I'm also excited because then I'm like, oh, this will make me even faster, or just even two of I do advance the tape, right? I mean, I'm young right now, I'm 51, but 60 will be here before I know it, and many years forward. And I do want to have the continued mobility and not be at, you know, a certain of what the United States calls average, because to me that would just be unacceptable for my own domain. But life is what you make it. And I think it was Jim Rohn that he said you either you either pay the price of discipline or you pay the price of regret. Yes. And regret is a too high of a price to pay. And I yeah, I I like that saying because it's true, embrace the suck and feel good after the 30 minutes or 60 minutes because you get the entire 23 and a half hours or 23 to feel good. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, definitely. So to wrap this up, what do people need to know and how do they work with you, Pete?

SPEAKER_01:

Ah, so we've got a physical brick and mortar place in Milwaukee right by the Pfizer Forum on Sixth and McKinley. We've got a great team of strength coaches here. It is phenomenal clients, phenomenal coaches. Come on in, join us. Um, I do remote coaching. I train people across the country, even I've got some people in different countries around the world. I can build programs and they can have access to my programming and unlimited access to questions and all that with remote coaching. I can build those programs, videos, performance points. I can see in real time what they're doing. Um, you know, the the neuromuscular resets. Uh, I've got a guy in Bozeman right now that I might do a virtual reset with him. I'll show him how to work on his body, which will be interesting. But again, we can improve your movement and breathing patterns with some hands-on work. Happy to do that. Uh, and that's how you work with me. Perfect. And where do people find you? LinkedIn or website? Yeah, LinkedIn is great. Um, again, my name is Pete Miller. M-U-E-L-L-E-R website is petemillergroup.com. Um the uh Instagram is Pete Miller Group as well. And you know, you can track me down. I'm happy to talk. And you know, people that are tuning into your podcast, drop me a line, send me a text. Uh, email is pete at petmillergroup.com. Happy to connect and maybe I can help with a little bit of a quick roadmap for you.

Heather Ewing:

Perfect. Well, Pete, thank you so much. I really appreciated this authentic and candid conversation. I think there is a lot of conversations that get into it, but don't take that extra step. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, you're welcome. Good to have you uh have your show again.

SPEAKER_02:

Great to see you.

SPEAKER_01:

All right, take care.

SPEAKER_02:

Bye bye.